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Understand

from The Sky's Exploding by Now It's Art

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about

I wrote this in April. I originally started this trying to make dance punk, 'cause I wanted to make a more upbeat song, and it still kinda is, but it very clearly transitioned into more of a digital hardcore song, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I still like it but eh.

Interestingly, this is the first song of mine where in the demo I actually did actual screaming, 'cause for once I could at the time and it just kinda happened. I'm a mad boi.

lyrics

Some days I try to find my way,
I can't make it, I can't help it.
I just don't know what I should say,
How does anyone make it through this?

I just want some closure.
I just don't understand.
Am I any closer?
How am I still not a man?

And when will it matter
How I feel about it?
No consideration,
I won't cry about it.

I just want some closure.
I just don't understand.
Am I any closer?
I will never be a man.

I just want some closure.
How don't you understand?
I'll lose my composure.
Do I need a helping hand?

I'm just so fed up I
Don't know what I should do
I'm completely lost but
I'm still thankful for you

But it doesn't matter
At least it feels that way
I guess it just isn't working
I feel like I never have a say

Today
Am I okay?
I don't know what to say.
It's just another day

What will happen today?

There it goes again
I'm wonderin
If it's worth livin

And I don't know
If I should show
It doesn't seem like it's working

My head's throbbing
And I don't know why
I wanna die
Oh god, oh why?

I swear I tried
It's just so hard
And I can't tell a lie
It's fine

I just want some closure.
How don't you understand?
I'll lose my composure.
Do I need a helping hand?

Every day I'm closer
To the promise land
But I will get better
Maybe soon I'll understand

credits

from The Sky's Exploding, released December 31, 2019
Renault Master F3500 dCi135 Exterior Engine Start Up Idle And Drive Away Mono Follow.wav by Soundholder of freesound.org

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