And so we come to my most experimental, complex, longest, and argulably darkest song so far! This is basically what Descent should've been.
It's basically what Descent was, anyways. It's just the same thing over and over, but it's pretty great I think. As emotional and cathartic as this song is, it's not really about anything specific, except for fearing death I guess. The one thing it most definitely is about though, is once again, the frustration of not being able to scream.
Since I couldn't scream, I decided to make a song where that was the whole thing. Sure, there's screaming, but it's whisper screaming, and it's ACTUAL whisper screaming, not that shit that 12 year olds do when they're "acting". Looking back, something about being so frustrated about not being able to scream, but still wanting to, so resorting to letting out your anger by whispering, so you won't wake others, is pretty poetic, I think.
It was when I made this song that I knew what I wanted this EP to be about. That feeling of not being able to scream, but having a lot to scream about, so in order to do that, we've gotta be quiet, and thus, I made a few songs where I tried to be quiet yet loud, and that's what this EP is. And that's what this song is.
Or something.
Also there was a bit of lyrics I wrote initially when I was just making this song, that went unused for a while because they were just following the "melody" of the "guitar" and that's lame, so I scrapped them... until I decided to use them in the end. They're very faint and have a lot of effects on them, but you can hear them when the screaming starts again after the "verse" and into the calm bit and louder screaming, all the way to the end.
So yeah.
lyrics
Sometimes, I feel like I'm not meant for this world, ya know? Like, I don't know, I don't want to die or anything, but sometimes I just really want to not be where I am at that moment in time. I just want to run away. I would never want to die, I've just got so much to live for. Still though, it's hard. It's always so hard...
If I'm dying in the night
I'll put up a fight,
If you want me to.
Please don't make it so,
It's not my time to go,
I've got stuff to do.
If I'm dying in the night
I'll put up a fight,
If you want me to.
Please don't make it so,
It's not my time to go,
I've got stuff to do.
If I'm dying in the night
I'll put up a fight,
If you want me to.
Please don't make it so,
It's not my time to go,
I've got stuff to do.
If I'm dying in the night
I'll put up a fight,
If you want me to.
Please don't make it so,
It's not my time to go,
I've got stuff to do.
If I'm dying in the night
I'll put up a fight,
If you want me to.
Please don't make it so,
It's not my time to go,
I've got stuff to do.
I can't keep this up...
But I have to find the strength,
If I can't I'll go insane.
I've gotta stop listening to my brain,
'Cause it gives me thoughts of pain.
But it's hard to do that,
At least I don't think I'm fat.
Sorry if that made you hurt,
There's way more things that are worse.
This is the part where I start to realize
All of this is just a disguise.
This is the part where I'd talk about my schlong
But instead I'll rip off that song.
This is the part where I would start screaming,
But I must be quiet this evening.
This is the part where I start to transition
So I can find out what's been missing.
If I'm dying in the night
I'll put up a fight,
If you want me to.
Please don't make it so,
It's not my time to go,
I've got stuff to do.
If I'm dying in the night
I'll put up a fight,
If you want me to.
Please don't make it so,
It's not my time to go,
I've got stuff to do.
If I'm dying in the night
I'll put up a fight,
If you want me to.
Please don't make it so,
It's not my time to go,
I've got stuff to do.
If I'm dying in the night
I'll put up a fight,
If you want me to.
Please don't make it so,
It's not my time to go,
I've got stuff to do.
If I'm dying in the night
I'll put up a fight,
If you want me to.
Please don't make it so,
It's not my time to go,
I've got stuff to do.
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